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| Adobo- Philippine's Unoffical National Dish credit: http://philnews.ph/2014/02/28/adobo-proposed-as-philippines-national-food/ |
Answer; Food!
Seriously. But not just food, like the one you find in Mc Donalds. (I don't even think it's proper food.) It has to be a foreign dish, preferably from your country, that you personally prepared.
This is what I've been doing since I started living in Japan. I'm making friends by making food.
The Make-Food-Make-Friends History
How did I find about this secret?
I got the idea from an American friend. He made some kimchi and invited people over. There were about 10 or more people who came. Free food in good company, who couldn't resist that?
So after a week or two, I had my first ''make-food-to-make-friends'' dinner. I wasn't a great cook so I prepared something that would be hard to ruin- ADOBO. So far, adobo hasn't failed me. I always get raving reviews about my cooking. Some of my friends have also requested me to make this dish for them. Adobo really works!
Wikipedia describes adobo as "a popular dish in Philippine cuisine that involves meat, seafood or vegetables marinated in vinegar, soy sauce and garlic which is browned in oil and simmered in the marinade. It is sometimes considered as the unofficial national dish in the Philippines."
I also chose this because it's a signature Filipino dish. It's a great way to give a taste of my own culture to others.
I've also found out that when you prepare food from your country, it would encourage your guests to talk about the native food in their own country. And I tell you, people can keep talking about food for hours.
Food is a good starting point to know another culture, too. In the number of times I cooked adobo for people, my guests would often try to find a dish from their own country that tastes or looks similarly to it. We would then discuss traditional food for certain occasions such as Christmas, birthdays, etc. That would lead to more discussion on traditional practices which in turn can lead to sharing their history, names of food in their language, variations of food, etc, etc,
Then, when everybody is satisfied with the food, people would start asking personal questions. We would make plans to see each other again and do something together. Before we know it, we're friends. And it all started with food.
The Make-Food-Make-Friends Rationale
Another Question: Why do you have to prepare the food?
Answer 1: It's enticing. As I've said, it's hard to resist free food.
Answer 2: It's practical. You can already gather possible people to be friends with in one place. You also don't have to spend a lot like when you dine out.
Answer 3: It's special. When you make the effort to prepare food for people, it shows you're taking the extra mile to be friends with them. It's easy to just eat out or have some coffee. But when you make food, it means you mean business with this friendship thing.
I don't make food for everyone I know. I only do this for people whom I wanted to pursue friendships with. I already had prior meetings with people I make food for. If I think that someone is worth knowing, I'll definitely make food for him or her.
The Make-Food-Make-Friends Problem
However, before you start inviting friends and making your own signature dish, check if you have all the ingredients you need. In Japan, it's important to really check first if you can have all ingredients you need. Japanese supermarkets don't offer a lot of international goods. Even the bigger ones have small selection of international food.
I tried using the soy sauce I can find in the supermarkets here but it doesn't have the same taste as the soy sauce we use for adobo. There are also no laurel leaves in all the supermarkets I've visited. A lot of locals don't even know what it is. These two ingredients give the distinct taste of adobo so I can't make the dish without them.
If you'll run the same problem like I did, here are some possible solutions:
1. Find a person from your country who might know where to get the ingredients you need. I knew an older Filipina and she introduced me to an international store selling Asian food. I was able to buy the soy sauce and laurel leaves I need.
2. Check the internet. I've found some websites selling the things I need. However, I only buy from one-Asia Yaosho. Some websites have terrible translation, I can't be sure if they're selling the same thing I need. Some also confuses me with their explanation of their payment options. I can't be bothered figuring what the website is trying to say when there are other sites that have clearer translation.
3. Ask your family or friends to send you goods. I often ask my family to send me some white coffee cause I can't them here. This method takes sometime though.
The Make-Food-Make-Friends Conclusion
I've personally done this a number of times and it has always worked. Most of the people I've made food for ended up being my closest friends here in Japan. We started by sharing food and ended up with more shared memories.
