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| Aoi Ikke, Hokkaido (Blue Pond) |
On our way to Kyoto, my husband discreetly pointed to a group of Japanese employees saying goodbyes in the station. He said they look "too polite" and their voices are "too pleasing." He said they look unnaturally cordial. Even without looking at them, I perfectly understood what he was talking about. Japanese employees are like that. He also noticed how the cashiers would say a lot of things in a polite way but they wouldn't really look at you. He compared them to robots, like everything they do and say were programmed to please the customers.
His remarks reminded me of an insightful post, Why Japanese People Lie? on Japanese Rule of 7. It may help explain why Japanese people act in a seemingly unnaturally polite way.
Here's an excerpt:
Two Things All Japanese People Know
Japanese people are imparted at birth with two pieces of knowledge. The first is fanatical customer service. At school and at home, they’re drilled for years in how to walk, how to stand, how to greet people, how to bow. Year in and year out, they march in formation around school yards, in the sun, rain, and snow, responding on command in loud voices to their senseis. Visitors often remark on the polite customer service of the Japanese, and you better believe it didn’t just happen by accident. It took years of military-style training, preparing a nation of children to be the world’s best waiters, cooks, and convenience store clerks.
The second piece of knowledge all Japanese persons are imparted with is, We’re different. Those other people—-foreigners—-they’re not like us. Koreans? Okay, they used to be Japanese, but now they’re not. Taiwanese? Sure, Taiwan was part of Japan, but now that doesn’t count. Okinawa? Okay, that wasn’t even Japan, but now somehow it is. Anyway, we Japanese, we know who we are. Even if we’re born and raised in France or Peru, we still know. And we’re not like you, foreigners.
But back to customer service in Japan, because here the concept of “customer” is quite broad. Your boss is your customer. A new acquaintance may be your customer, particularly if he’s an older male. Sometimes even family members are customers. Anybody you have to serve is in that category. Now, when the roles are reversed and you’re the customer, you’re free to be as big a dick as you want. You can order people around, speak rudely to them, or ignore them completely. In some ways, you’re supposed to. The idea of being friends and equals is, well, a bit foreign. You’re the king and queen all rolled into one, and you can act like a big shot. Because that’s your role. Until it isn’t and you’re back to being a servant. Japanese people switch between these roles naturally and automatically, and take some delight in doing so. I mean, that’s what I’d say if I were generalizing, which I’d never do.
So when I say that Japanese folks are lying, I don’t mean like they’re gonna try boosting your Lexus. I mean putting on a false front—-the Japanese call it tatemae—-the way a restaurant is all starched tablecloths, wine glasses, and oversized silverware in front, while meanwhile the cooks are out back in the alley sucking down beers and flicking cigarettes. They’re just great at treating you like a customer, and doubly thrilled if they can categorize you as “foreign.”
To see what Japanese folks are really like, don’t look at how they treat “foreigners.” Look at how they treat each other, and consider their relationships. Sometimes they’re super polite, and sometimes super not. In Japan, sometimes we pour glasses of beer for each other, and buy our coworkers drinks. Other times we bump into strangers, step in front of them, take the last item on the shelf, and never say a word. And everybody ignores the homeless. Because nobody’s nice to everybody all the time, and in that we’re all the same.
