Let's Learn Japanese: Do you like UNKO?

Several of my students had great fun yesterday when I keep on saying the word "UNKO." A naughty student told me to say it repeatedly for 10 times. It was supposedly a Japanese magic word. Being open-minded to other culture and all, I chanted "UNKO, UNKO, UNKO" with a sweet smile on my face. Then I saw the students's faces holding back laughter. Some students who were not aware of what's happening giggled and looked at me incredulously. When I noticed this, I became suspicious and started asking what does it mean. Everybody  just looked pleased but no one's telling me what it is. I went to the more serious student and asked him, "Do you like unko?" He burst out laughing along with his seatmate. I took that chance to ask him what does unko mean. Turns out, UNKO means poop. Such sweet students, I have.

UNKO!
photo credit: http://bebland.blogspot.jp/

Don't know why I didn't learn the Japanese word for poop earlier. It just never crossed my mind that I should learn it. I should have. It could have saved me from weeks of feeling alienated from my students. I'll just ask "Do you like unko?" and I'm pretty sure a handful of them will be my best friends. Kids say the dumbest things but kids like it better when adults say them, I think. Imagine the most serious kid in class broke into laughter because of unko. It must really be a magic word. It's worth knowing and chanting if it means I made some students happy.

I treasure the times when students take the first step to talk to me. It seldom happens. Sure, maybe 90 percent of the students in my school say hello and hi to me. Some would even ask me how am I. But, only a precious few would really talk me like a normal human being. I can't blame the students. They can't understand me and I can't understand them. (When I think about it, the feeling seems mutual.) No matter how friendly I am, I'm still an alien spurting alien talk, aka English. This alien is always the one to reach out and start conversations with the students. I'm okay with it most of the time but it's kinda tiring sometimes.

What I miss most in my previous teaching jobs is the chance to talk with the students beyond the classroom. I love it when  I can tease students and in rare cases, impart words of  wisdom. I love it when they confide and joke with me. I love being a friend, sometimes. It makes me feel that I'm a part of their lives. It makes my job more fulfilling and meaningful.

Of course, I can do that here in Japan... if I learn Japanese or my students learn English. I don't know which is the more impossible one. I feel I can do more if I can speak more Japanese or if they can understand more English. I have so many things I want to share and ask. I want to know their crushes, their favorite teachers, their dreams and even the things that bother them. I'd love to know their stories. Students have the most interesting take on things. I want to know that too! I want to go beyond "How are you?" and "How's the weather today?"

I can only hope that even with this HUGE language barrier, my students can see that I care for them somehow. I don't mind saying UNKO a hundred times if that would make them happy. And for a rare moment, I'm just their friend.

More Information on UNKO:

1. unpi 「うんぴ」 : Diarrheal stool. Could be connected to overeating, having a cold, or stress. It is usually a yellowish-color and it has a very strong smell.
2. unnyo 「うんにょ」 : Soft and tender poop, but not diarrehea. It comes out when you are feel some indigestion. Yellow-ish or light brown in color.
3. unchi 「うんち」 : Nice poop. It comes out when you’ve been eating healthy balanced meals. It has a clean brown color and doesn’t smell very much.
4. ungo 「うんご」 : Comes out when you’ve not been eating enough vegetables, and you’re probably constipated when you squeeze out an ungo. Ungo is dark black and really stinky.

[Source: This Japanese article, via Kokoro Zaeega]

Going Crazy over Stickers: Motivating Japanese Students

I found myself frantically searching for an open 100 Yen or stationery shop last Tuesday. It was almost 8 pm and in a few minutes the shops will be closed. Before they close, I have to buy a very important thing. I can't go to work the following day without it. I'd lose my credibility. It can cost me my job, my visa and my great life here in Japan. I really have to get the cute little random things which have a sticky back that you can stick on anything. I have to buy some "shils" spelled as s-e-a-l-s. For better understanding, "shils" spelled as s-e-a-l-s is the same as stickers.

photo credit: http://blog.modes4u.com/tag/sticker

I can't have classes without those golden cute sticky things. My teaching career in Japan depend on it. Students find me awesome because I have stickers. Stickers are my charms, my amulets, my secret weapon. Students are more eager to do the activities and participate more when stickers are dangled on their noses. Students suddenly speak in English to say "May I have stickers?" "Stickers, please." "Can I have this one?" "I want stickers." and "Faye Sensei, you are cute. Give me stickers."

Before I plunged in the Japanese school system, a trainer in the company I work for told us how magical stickers are for students- in elementary, junior high school and even high school. I didn't believe him at that time because I never had students go crazy over stickers before. And I've been teaching for almost 10 years. Until I started teaching in Japan. The magic of stickers is revealed to me. It's like a life source. Students raise their hands, blurt English words, get competitive and find me an angel. Thank God for stickers!

In a culture where cuteness must prevail at all times, I shouldn't be surprised that stickers as a reward works. Japanese love cute things from their Hello Kitty pens to their Pikachu bags, from their monstrous pink shiny ribbons to their character-filled clothes. Young and old, men and women, students or not, the Japanese people embrace cuteness in every color, size and form. Companies, stores and even the police have cute mascots to represent them. Office and school supplies offer a rich variety of cuteness with their designs. Tools and simple things used at home are also designed cutely.

It's only in Japan where I got to have an umbrella with rabbit ears, Hello Kitty watch and scarf, a lacy light yellow Pikachu stockings and a Mickey Mouse spoon and fork. I could go on and describe every cute thing I have in Japan. I can't help it. I just have to have them, they're so "kawaii" (cute). You know just like how my students can't help but fight to death for my stickers. So yeah, I should really be buying more stickers. Running out of stickers is detrimental to my teaching career.

Japanese Boy Likes to Say S

photo credit: http://www.clker.com

For some cosmic unfathomable reason a first grade student would always say the word sex when he sees me. When he sees me in the hallway, he'd smile and say sex. When I enter their room, he'd try to catch my eye and say sex. When I finish my class, he'd grab my things then give them back to me while saying s-e-x. He'd always have that naughty look in his eyes whenever he sees me and I know that he'd say his favorite word to me. He doesn't say that  to other teachers. It was only to me.

Sometimes, I wonder what he'd be his reaction if I say the same thing, and maybe more, to him. I'm greatly tempted to do that but instead of saying the S word to him, I'd just always utter "dame" (bad). What can I do? I'm just an ALT whose Japanese is barely for survival. Also, I'm not entitled to discipline the students. I'm just supposed to be a smiling machine and brush off such rude behavior. I'm so busy smiling I've no time for some spanking. I tried telling it to my JTE once. She burbled something to the student. Student nod, bowed at me while burbling something (probably I'm sorry but I can't tell), then off he went. The next day, he's back on his evil way.

I don't know what I did to him why he keeps on saying the S word to me. I always look decent, my clothes not revealing and I did not teach him to say that word. I told it to a few of my ALT friends. One said that I should be grateful he's speaking in English. The other one said maybe the student finds me hot and can't control himself. Nice friends I've got here no? To be honest, I'm not really bothered by him. I've heard worse and seen worse from my previous students. I'm just wondering why that word. He won't even be able to use it in everyday polite conversation.

Because this has been going on for months now, I've come up with some theories why that naughty student likes to say the word sex to me.

First, maybe he heard it somewhere and thought it's cool. Some students say F--- Y--! thinking it's how cool English-speakers talk. Some use B---CH, A-- and whatever curse words they know in English. I couldn't blame them if they always hear it in English movies. So maybe, this student thinks that the S word is the cool word for him. I just find it odd. Imagine someone angrily screaming "SEX" at you instead of FUCK YOU!" It doesn't make sense to me.

Another reason could be he's on puberty stage. It's the stage where raging hormones are, well, raging. It's the period of curiosity and discovery about sexuality. Puberty coupled with the stage of testing limits is the most "exciting" combination. You know how we all love coming of age movies and books, right? He's on this exciting time of his life. He wants to know and maybe saying the word makes him think he know whatever he's saying. Remember how when we're kids we'd name the things we know. I think it's like that during puberty. Then he also gets the excitement of saying a taboo word to a teacher. How exciting could that be?

The last reason I could come up with is because I'm a foreigner. Maybe it's not actually him, maybe it's me that makes him say that word. As I've said, I'm the only teacher who has to bear his verbal assault. He doesn't say it to any Japanese teachers. Some Japanese men find foreign women more liberated compared to Japanese women. (Another entry is needed to explain how I get to that conclusion.) I don't know if at his young age, he's already prejudiced.

As I've said, I'm not bothered that he says sex to me. I'm a big girl, I can handle that. As long as he only says that and not "do" that in front of me, I can manage. I think the coolness of saying sex will eventually wear off. It's like when kids get tired of singing their ABC's and they just want to move on with life. Or maybe a Japanese teacher would hear him and give him an earful. Maybe my friends are right too, he's just happy to know an English word or that he can't control himself because he finds me hot. Haha!