I thank God for giving me patience and understanding last Saturday.
A friend (Friend A) invited me to join a BBQ party along a river. There would be food and we can swim in the river. I've no reason to say no. I didn't ask any details thinking that everything is settled. After all, I was just a guest.
The BBQ plan was vague. I was just instructed to go to a friend's house (Friend B) the night before the BBQ. Her place is nearer the river. I did what was I told and that's when the "need-for-patience-and-understanding" situations begun.
Chaos the Night Before: Do not go to a BBQ Party without knowing what you're supposed to do
Chaos the Night Before: Do not go to a BBQ Party without knowing what you're supposed to do
It was 10 pm when I arrived at Friend B's place. I was informed that we still have to shop for ingredients to make chicken sandwiches. We also have to cook rice. I don't mind making chicken sandwiches but considering the time and all the shopping, boiling and spreading, we're bound to sleep late.
Adding to my annoyance is that Friend A decided to finish the movie she's watching when I arrived. Then while shopping for food, she spent some time looking at shoes, spent more time hesitating to use plastics to put the rice in because it wasn't presentable. I put my foot down and told her, if we'll use heavy containers, she'll be the one carrying them. I don't like to carry heavy stuff if there's a way to avoid it.
We made it back at Friend B's place past 11 pm. Friend A has no sense of urgency and talked with someone on the phone. She was convincing him to join us tomorrow which she had been doing on the way back. In my head, if that person doesn't want to come, let him be. Because I really want to sleep by that time, I took control and started what need to be done while masking my irritation.
Good thing that Friend B is a jolly person so it was easy to just let things go. In the end, we slept at almost 2 am. And we have to wake up at 6. Phew!
Chaos in the Morning: Do not go to a BBQ without knowing where you're supposed to go
We woke up at 6 am, cooked the rice and prepared ourselves. Friend B and I ignored Friend A's complaints of how tired and sleepy she was. We're supposed to leave at 8 am.
Guess what? We didn't leave at 8 am. We left at 9:30 because there were two other people joining us who woke up late. I can't blame them though. They worked late the night before.
Not only we left later than the planned time but it turned out that nobody knows how to go to the actual place. Thankfully, I've been assigned in that area two years ago so I'm familiar with the transportation system. (I know I'm sounding like the superhero of this story. But this is my story and the others can tell their own if they want to be superheroes too).
We arrived at river at 11 am. In a way, I'm glad we didn't arrive earlier cause the other people that we're supposed to meet there were also late.
Chaos at Lunch until Goodbye!: Do not go to a BBQ party without expecting boo-boos
Let me start this part by saying that the place was a disappointment. Not because it wasn't nice but because there were better rivers which are nearer. Most of us spent more than 1000 Yen for transportation one-way just to get to the place. The river was also a 15-minute walk from where we're stationed. But because we've come this far, I decided to just make the most out of it.
At this point, I shouldn't have been surprised by further delays but I am. We ate lunch at past 2 pm because the others did not bring any cooked food. If they were planning all along to cook, we should have come earlier is all I'm saying.
It was past 3 pm when we finally swam in the river. It was past 5 when everyone decided to head out but we still have to change clothes and pack things. With everyone helping, we're packed in no time except that Friend A and another lady took their own sweet time changing clothes and putting on make-up. I'm just dying to go home and I can't be patient any longer. I decided I had enough, stood up and prodded everyone to move. And that's how we've finally, finally started our way home.
Along the way, they were discussing how to get to their Japanese class at 7 pm. My thoughts were: "You should have thought about that!" In the end, they just saw the fireworks at Nishikajima. They wanted me to join but I think I had enough of chaos.
How I Could Have Avoided the BBQ CHAOS
Next time I'm going to a BBQ, I'll make sure I know the details. I'll ask where we're actually going, what we're actually doing and who are we going with.
Had I known where we're headed, I would have suggested a nearer place.
Had I known that we're supposed to make sandwiches and cook rice, I would have gone to Friend B's place earlier. Had I known the other people planned to cook all the lunch food, I would have eaten a lot at breakfast.
Had I known that I'm going with people with no sense of time, I wouldn't have gone at all or I would have braced myself for chaos.
I'm very time-conscious even in parties. I want to have slept well before a trip, eat lunch on time, have enough time for swimming and be home early enough to rest.
I don't want to sound racist against my own race but usually, when I go out with Filipinos, I almost always get annoyed by the delays, tardiness and disorganization.
There's Always a Bright Side, Look at It!
Even if the people were disorganized and have no sense of time, they were friendly and warm. It was my first time to meet most of them in that BBQ party but they made me feel welcome and included. It felt great too to communicate again in my native language.
Also, I think that most of the people there were just exercising patience and understanding for the delays that a few have caused. They're making the most of the situation just like any how most Filipinos are. They may not have said it but I can sense it in their sighs and smiles. I know this because I also sighed and smiled the same way they did. I'm not alone with these feelings, after all. Thank God, for that!
How about you, what do you do when you're annoyed with how things go?
Adding to my annoyance is that Friend A decided to finish the movie she's watching when I arrived. Then while shopping for food, she spent some time looking at shoes, spent more time hesitating to use plastics to put the rice in because it wasn't presentable. I put my foot down and told her, if we'll use heavy containers, she'll be the one carrying them. I don't like to carry heavy stuff if there's a way to avoid it.
We made it back at Friend B's place past 11 pm. Friend A has no sense of urgency and talked with someone on the phone. She was convincing him to join us tomorrow which she had been doing on the way back. In my head, if that person doesn't want to come, let him be. Because I really want to sleep by that time, I took control and started what need to be done while masking my irritation.
Good thing that Friend B is a jolly person so it was easy to just let things go. In the end, we slept at almost 2 am. And we have to wake up at 6. Phew!
Chaos in the Morning: Do not go to a BBQ without knowing where you're supposed to go
We woke up at 6 am, cooked the rice and prepared ourselves. Friend B and I ignored Friend A's complaints of how tired and sleepy she was. We're supposed to leave at 8 am.
Guess what? We didn't leave at 8 am. We left at 9:30 because there were two other people joining us who woke up late. I can't blame them though. They worked late the night before.
Not only we left later than the planned time but it turned out that nobody knows how to go to the actual place. Thankfully, I've been assigned in that area two years ago so I'm familiar with the transportation system. (I know I'm sounding like the superhero of this story. But this is my story and the others can tell their own if they want to be superheroes too).
We arrived at river at 11 am. In a way, I'm glad we didn't arrive earlier cause the other people that we're supposed to meet there were also late.
Chaos at Lunch until Goodbye!: Do not go to a BBQ party without expecting boo-boos
Let me start this part by saying that the place was a disappointment. Not because it wasn't nice but because there were better rivers which are nearer. Most of us spent more than 1000 Yen for transportation one-way just to get to the place. The river was also a 15-minute walk from where we're stationed. But because we've come this far, I decided to just make the most out of it.
At this point, I shouldn't have been surprised by further delays but I am. We ate lunch at past 2 pm because the others did not bring any cooked food. If they were planning all along to cook, we should have come earlier is all I'm saying.
It was past 3 pm when we finally swam in the river. It was past 5 when everyone decided to head out but we still have to change clothes and pack things. With everyone helping, we're packed in no time except that Friend A and another lady took their own sweet time changing clothes and putting on make-up. I'm just dying to go home and I can't be patient any longer. I decided I had enough, stood up and prodded everyone to move. And that's how we've finally, finally started our way home.
Along the way, they were discussing how to get to their Japanese class at 7 pm. My thoughts were: "You should have thought about that!" In the end, they just saw the fireworks at Nishikajima. They wanted me to join but I think I had enough of chaos.
How I Could Have Avoided the BBQ CHAOS
Next time I'm going to a BBQ, I'll make sure I know the details. I'll ask where we're actually going, what we're actually doing and who are we going with.
Had I known where we're headed, I would have suggested a nearer place.
Had I known that we're supposed to make sandwiches and cook rice, I would have gone to Friend B's place earlier. Had I known the other people planned to cook all the lunch food, I would have eaten a lot at breakfast.
Had I known that I'm going with people with no sense of time, I wouldn't have gone at all or I would have braced myself for chaos.
I'm very time-conscious even in parties. I want to have slept well before a trip, eat lunch on time, have enough time for swimming and be home early enough to rest.
I don't want to sound racist against my own race but usually, when I go out with Filipinos, I almost always get annoyed by the delays, tardiness and disorganization.
There's Always a Bright Side, Look at It!
Even if the people were disorganized and have no sense of time, they were friendly and warm. It was my first time to meet most of them in that BBQ party but they made me feel welcome and included. It felt great too to communicate again in my native language.
Also, I think that most of the people there were just exercising patience and understanding for the delays that a few have caused. They're making the most of the situation just like any how most Filipinos are. They may not have said it but I can sense it in their sighs and smiles. I know this because I also sighed and smiled the same way they did. I'm not alone with these feelings, after all. Thank God, for that!
How about you, what do you do when you're annoyed with how things go?
