Joys of an ALT

I've been feeling low the past few weeks. I have a lot of struggles in my personal life. I've also taken in too much part-time work that makes me so tired all the time. A couple of my close friends have left Japan. I'm vague about what should I do with my life. And, sometimes I just can't help but feel down.

Unexpectedly, my work- my ALT job- has been the bright spot in my life. I'm saying it's unexpected because it has never happened before. For the two years I'm in Japan, it's my personal and social circumstances that motivates me to keep doing my job. When I feel like a useless recorder in the classroom, I'd just plan the fun things I'll do in the weekend with friends. When I feel like I'm an invisible liver in the staff room, I'd think about my family back home. When some of the students' indifference and rudeness get to me, I try to brush them off and think about the happy things in my life. When I'm disliking my job, I remind myself that it's part of my life's purpose. 

Then things in my life are not pleasing lately. I don't know why everything has to crash all at the same time. Truly, when it rains, it pours. But at least it's not all dark clouds. My job is giving me a reason to smile like silver linings. 

Thank God for these...

1. A disruptive and lazy student shared about his summer vacation when I asked him to. He even drew a nice picture of what he did. 
2. Another problem student who doesn't like going to school, talked to me and completed an interview sheet with me. I was also so happy that he read all his lines without my help.  
3. The student I'm helping in the speech contest did not forget his lines in the actual contest. This is considering that up to the last practice day, he's been making mistakes and forgetting his lines. 
4. My lessons after the summer break went unexpectedly well with the 3rd graders. This is considering that my lessons do not include games and giving away stickers. It's a straight-on review. 
5. Some 3rd graders who didn't participate last semester are all hands up when I did my first two lessons with them. They look like angels to me now. 
6. A handful of 1st grade girls who were indifferent to me last semester are suddenly oh-so-friendly and sweet to me. (They must have missed me during the summer break.)
7. Some 3rd grade girls who are known to be problem students have really grown to like me, it seems. They are always greeting me in the hallways and coming up to me. (I wonder if I look so pitiful that even these students are trying to make me smile.)
8. I met a couple of my former students in the mall and they look so happy to see me. Coincidentally, I met them on days when I'm out of myself. Their enthusiasm upon seeing me pulled me out of my trances. 
9. I'm always thankful for the 1st graders' enthusiasm in my classes. They remind me why I'm in this profession. 
10. Smiles and hi's in the hallways that somehow assures me I'm still alive. 

I never thought I'd see this day when I'll say that I'm okay because of this job. I've always just been grateful that I have a job and that I can teach. But now, I'm glad that I have THIS job. I'm glad to be in THIS school with THESE people. Other things may not be good right now but at least I have this. This is more than enough to keep me going.