Stress Alert!: I'll Be Home for Christmas...

Blurred; Winter Illumination at Flower Park, Hamamatsu

This is how most Japanese celebrate Christmas: Go to work (if it's a workday), eat fried chicken from KFC, have some pretty Christmas cake and maybe give gifts to immediate family. Then go to work again the following day. Short and simple.

This is how Filipinos celebrate Christmas: Start a 100-day Christmas countdown, play carols from September, put up the Christmas tree in October, have Kris Kringles in November, attend parties from the 1st day of December and feel the Christmas hang-over in January. Around the days before and after Christmas, there's a lot of pigging out and shopping. Philippines has the longest Christmas indeed!


After celebrating 2 Christmases here in Japan, I realize how Christmas back home can be stressful and frivolous. The last 2 Christmas, I didn't feel sad or long for home. I was happy and free because I'm relieved of the social expectations in the Philippines during Christmas.

I had a stress-free Christmas in Japan because...

1. I can choose the people I spend Christmas with

If I were in Philippines, I'd be attending parties and reunions I'm socially obliged to go. I love parties but only the small ones wherein I can truly hang-out with people. As for reunions, they stress me out. I love being around family but there are some people I'd rather love from afar, like on Facebook maybe. But again, I'm socially obliged to go so I went to these parties all through my life until I came to Japan. I don't know why people had to suffer each other's company on Christmas day. 

When I came to Japan, I can choose the people I'd like to be with on Christmas day. The people who were kind enough to share their Christmas with me made my holidays here. Thankfully, these are the same people who helped me throughout the year. It's only fitting to spend the Christmas with people whose company I truly enjoy and appreciate. 

2. I'm not stressed with gift giving

It's been said a thousand times how Christmas has become commercialized. Japan's also commercializing it but because it's not a big celebration, it's not as prevalent. I don't have to spend nights making my Christmas list and spending days shopping for gifts. I did some Christmas shopping here- in less than two days. There's also no social pressure to give gifts unless you joined an exchange gift activity. Just like in number 1, I can choose the people I can give presents. The people who received gifts from me are people who really mattered to me. 

Back in Philippines, my 13th month pay would be gone by now from buying Christmas presents. Don't get me wrong. I love to give but I hate it when it's dictated by social pressure. For example, there's a Filipino culture called "pamasmasko" of  godchildren. I have about 20 godchildren and I don't know where they are until Christmastime. When they knock on my door on Christmas, I have to make small talk and give gifts, preferably cash. I don't why I have to do this except for social pressure! Even when I was kid and the one on the receiving end, I felt bad doing this. I felt like I was begging and I felt bad for the person who's forced to give me something. (Sorry Ninongs and Ninangs)

3. I can look how I like 

I don't know if it's just with my extended family, but we have to dress up on Christmas day in our new clothes and wear new shoes. I remember how I hated this as a kid because I don't like wearing a dress but my mom kept buying us dresses. Then I hated it more when we didn't have money to buy new clothes. I didn't hate that we don't have new clothes. I hate that some people think less of people not wearing new things even if what they're wearing is fine. 

When I got older, the expectation was modified a little. I can wear not-so-new clothes but there's social pressure to be prettier than my normal self. People might not admit this but this is the reason why the salons in Philippines are earning double and triple during the Christmas season. I'm not ugly and I like my normal self but I have to exert some effort looking pretty because it's cultural for Filipinos to comment on how each person looks in a gathering. I'm sure this also happens in other cultures but from my interactions and observations, this physical comments are more pronounced in the Philippines. It doesn't help that my sisters are really pretty so people get to compare us. 

Here in Japan, I can dress the way I want. Christmas is an ordinary day so no one's forcing me to dress up. It also helps that my features already make me stand out (for bad or good, I don't know). Even if I dress up, I'll just cover it with a big warm coat anyway.

HOWEVER. Even if my Christmases are simple and stress-free here, I still miss the Christmas back home. Reunions may stress me but there's nothing like spending Christmas with family. Parties may stress me too but Christmas parties in the Philippines are so much fun no wonder people don't want to stop partying. Gift-giving can drain my pockets but it's still a joy to see someone happy with a gift. Dressing up can be a pain-in-the-whatever, but I'll try. I'll try turning a deaf ear to people who can't think of anything to say except other people's appearance.

I was happy during my last 2 Christmases in Japan but I can't spend a third here. I've been away a little too long and  Christmas is the perfect time to visit. There'd be stressful social expectations for sure. But they matter less than with the thought that I'll be home for Christmas.