Why I Use English?

A friend asked me why don't I use Tagalog in writing. For her, I'm a Filipino so I should be writing in Tagalog. It made me think. I thought why my Filipino friend doesn't know that the Philippine's official language is called Filipino and not Tagalog. (Tagalog is a regional language.) Instead of educating her, I just told her. "I'm at ease using English when I write."

My own answer made me think. Why can I write more easily in English when writing? And why does my friend bother telling me to write in Filipino when she doesn't even read my blog?

Why, You Using English?

Since I have plenty of time these days and August is Filipino Language's Month, I took time to reflect why I use English all the time in writing. First, I realized that my sentences are shorter when I use English. My essays would be longer if I use Filipino. I'm worried that no one would read my blog since the entries would look longer. (By the way, Filipino looks like a longer language because we use the consonant-vowel combination when syllabicating words. English uses the letter's sounds in syllabication.)

Modesty aside, I can write pretty well in Filipino. I was awarded "Best in Filipino," when I was in high school. Also, I can teach Filipino's grammar even though I'm an English teacher. I know the correct usage of confusing Filipino prepositions such as "ng" and "nang." (These two are being interchangeably used by most Filipinos.) I can explain how to find the focus of the verb. (This is a grammar lesson that most students hate.) And I can still summarize the Philippine's two greatest novels- Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo. Modesty aside again, I believe I can call myself a true bilingual- I can communicate fluently both in English and Filipino and not in Taglish. (Taglish is a combination of English and Tagalog words in a sentence.) I didn't set aside learning my native language for the sake of English.

English is Formal, Filipino is Impormal

Despite of these, I still choose to write in English. It's not because I don't like to use Filipino. I just realize now that writing for me is a formal means of communication. At the same time, I grew up in a culture where English is the formal language of communication. So in my mind, writing and English should go together. I'm not comfortable using Filipino in writing because Filipino sounds quite informal.

The Filipinos have a weird way in using English and Filipino. In formal events, the host or emcee would usually use English even though the guests are all Filipinos. It's a formal event so it's time to use English! Even in the schools, students would use English when delivering reports and presentations then they'd revert back to Filipino as soon as they're out of the classroom. In radio and TV, it was only in the past 15 years that Filipino was used in reporting news. English was used for the longest time. In print until now, tabloids use Filipino while broadsheets use English. Presidents used to deliver their speeches in English. No wonder people go to rallies all the time. They can't understand their own leaders. When I watched the impeachment trials, everything was in English you'd think you're in another country. I could give more examples but my main point is this: I view writing as a formal language. Hence, I use English.

Native English Level...Daw

This entry was originally written in Filipino. When I read the original version, it felt like it was very informal. Seems like I was just talking to a friend. I can't help it. I can't change how I view my native language over night. It doesn't mean however that the original version is of lesser value. Truth be told, I do miss speaking to friends in Filipino. I'm using English here all the time and a little Japanese.

Without sounding like a braggart, I think I can communicate in English fluently. I've been asked many times if I've lived in the US or UK. I feel good about myself whenever people say that. By the way, I was also Best in English when I was in high school. Communicating with English speakers all the time made me think that I have native English level. However, I've realized in many instances that though I can communicate in English, I'm still a Filipino at heart. I laugh louder and more genuinely when the jokes are in Filipino. I feel lighter speaking in Filipino. I sound more emotional when I speak in Filipino. I'd be hurt badly if someone curse me in Filipino. I can see myself more when I write in Filipino.

My mother's family has a weird habit which was passed on to me. I express my anger in English. My boyfriend would just be quiet when I'm angry because he said he doesn't understand me anymore. I realize that I speak in English when I'm angry because I filter myself. Speaking in English help me think twice before saying anything hurtful. Also, using English in anger has less impact than if I use Filipino. If my words in anger have been translated in Filipino, my boyfriend and I would have split up long time ago. A lot of people notice too that I sound more polite, kind and genteel when I use English. I don't know why cause when my mouth is full of crazy things when I use Filipino. I was even teased as a bully because of how I speak in Filipino. I can't help it, I'm one crazy Filipino.

Sorry, Susulat Pa Rin Ako in English

Still, after all I've written, I decided to still write in English. My blog statistics would go lower if I use Filipino. Sad to say, Filipinos are not readers. Unless a blog is full of showbiz news, people won't take time to read it. Also, my top readers are not from the Philippines. I'm actually surprised that my country only ranked 4th or 5th in this blog's traffic. I believe I can reach more people around the world by using English.

The next reason for using English is this- I like it! For some unfathomable reasons, I feel more creatively free when I use English in writing. I'm free to make mistakes, to be boring, to sound preachy or to sound dramatic. I can't understand why this is so. This would be much longer if I think about this again.

All I know is this, I may be writing in English but I my heart's still a Filipino.


Here's the Original Version: Bakit English Ako ng English?

Bakit English Ako ng English?

(For the English version of this piece: Why I Use English?)

May isa kong kaibigang nagtanong bakit hindi daw ako nagsusulat sa Tagalog e Filipino naman ako. Napaisip tuloy ako ng 'di oras. Naisip ko, siya nga Filipino hindi niya alam na ang opisyal na wika ng Pilipinas ay hindi Tagalog kundi Filipino. Baka sabihin niya minamaliit ko siya kaya sabi ko na lang "Mas nadadalian kasi ako magsulat sa Ingles." 

Napaisip ulit ako sa sagot ko. Bakit nga ba Ingles ang ginagamit ko sa pagsulat? At bakit ba nakikielam ang kaibigan ko e hindi naman siya nagbabasa ng blog ko? 

Why, You Using English?

Dahil marami akong oras at Buwan ng Wika naman ngayon, pinagbulay-bulayan ko ang dahilan ng paggamit ko ng Ingles sa pagsulat. Una kong napagtanto na ang haba ng mga pangungusap ko pag Filipino ang ginagamit ko. Nabalisa ako na baka wala ng magbasa ng blog ko kase ang haba tignan. (Siya nga pala, mas mahaba ang wikang Filipino dahil ang pagbabaybay natin ay laging may katinig at patinig. Ang pagbababay sa Ingles ay batay sa tunog ng mga titik. Ang patinig at katinig ay vowel at consonant sa Ingles. Kahit Pinoy ka, I'm sure nosebleed ka!)

Hindi naman sa pagmamayabang pero marunong din naman akong magsulat sa Filipino. "Best in Filipino" kaya ako nung high school. (Ewan ko bakit Ingles ang pangalan ng parangal.) Hindi ulit sa pagmamayabang, kahit guro ako ng Ingles, kaya kong magturo ng balarilang Filipino. (Grammar pala ang ibig sabihin ng balarila. Alam kong medyo inisip mo kung ano iyon.) Alam ko ang tamang paggamit nang "ng" at "nang" (Oo, magkaiba sila ng paggamit.), maipapaliwanag ko ang pokus ng pandiwa at kaya kong ibuod ang Noli at Fili. Muli, hindi sa pagmamayabang, pero masasabi ko na totoo akong bilingual- kaya kong makipagtalastasan sa Filipino at Ingles at hindi Taglish. Hindi ko sinantabi ang pag-aaral ng Filipino para sa Ingles. 

English is Formal, Filipino is Impormal

Sa kabila nito, pinili kong magsulat sa Ingles hindi dahil ayokong gamitin ang Filipino. Ngayon ko lang napagtanto na pormal ang tingin ko sa pagsulat. Dahil pormal na uri ng komunikasyon ang pagsulat para sa akin, gagamitin ko ang pormal na wikang kinalakihan ko. Iyon ang Ingles. Lumaki ako sa kulturang may paniniwala na ang Filipino ay impormal na wika samantalang pormal naman ang Ingles. 

Pag dumadalo ako sa mga kasiyahan, Ingles ng Ingles yung host hindi naman naiitinindihan nung mga bisita. Porket pormal ang okasyon, magiingles na. Kahit sa paaralan, yung mga naguulat kung maka-Ingles ang galing pero balik sa pagFiFilipino pag kausap na yung mga kapwa mag-aaral. Kahit naman sa telebisyon at radyo, kelan lang naman nauso na Filipino ang wikang ginagamit sa mga balita. TV Patrol ata nagpauso nun eh. Maging sa mga pahayagan, pag broadsheet- Ingles, pag tabloid, Filipino. Pag may SONA dati puro Ingles. Kaya ayun protesta nang protesta mga tao. Hindi maintindihan sinasabi ng pangulo. Nung nanood ako ng impeachment, siyeeeet Ingles na naman! Marami pa kong pwedeng sabihin pero ang nais ko lang naman ipunto ay pormal ang tingin ko sa pagsulat. 

Ibig sabihin ba nito ay hindi pormal ang pagsulat na ginagawa ko ngayon? Pag binasa ko siya, ang dating niya ay hindi kasing pormal ng ibang kung naisulat sa blog na ito. Ganun talaga, hindi naman agad-agad magbabago na pagtingin ko. Kelan lang din nauso ang pa-impormal na pagsulat sa Ingles man o Filipino. Ang pakiramdam ko ngayon parang nakikipag-kwentuhan ako sa kaibigan ko. At sa totoo lang, nangungulila na akong makipagkwentuhan sa wikang Filipino. Puro Ingles halos kase ang ginagamit ko dito tapos konting Nihonggo. 

Native English Level... Daw

Ngayon magmamayabang na ko, sa tingin ko magaling naman ako makipagwentuhan sa Ingles. Marami ngang nagtatanong sa'kin kung tumira ba ko sa UK o US o anumang U na bansang nag-Iingles. Dahil mayabang ako minsan, naisip ko siyeeettt ang galing ko pala talaga sa wika! Nga pala, Best in English din ako nung high-school. (Hindi na ko nagtaka bakit Ingles ang award.) Akala ko native level na ang Ingles ko. Pero maraming pagkakataon na pinakita sa'kin na kahit anu pang pag-iingles ang gawin ko, Pilipino ako sa puso't diwa. Mas totoo at mas malakas ang pagtawa ko pag ang joke ay sa Filipino. Mas magaan sa pakiramdam ko magsalita sa Filipino. Mas madamdamin ako pag nagsalita sa Filipino. Pag minura ako sa Filipino, mas masakit. Mas nakikita ko yung sarili ko pag ang sinulat ko ay nasa Filipino. 

Merong isang kakaibang ugali ang pamilya ng nanay ko na namana ko. Pag nagagalit ako, nag-iingles ako. Yung boyfriend ko tuloy hindi sumasagot kase hindi na nya daw ako naiintidihan. Dahil kakaiba siyang ugali, inisip ko na naman kung bakit ganun. Napagtanto ko na Ingles ang ginagamit ko pag galit dahil sinasala ko ang sarili ko. Ayokong makasakit ng damdamin kaya Ingles na lang. Hindi gaanong masakit pag galit sa Ingles eh. Siguro naghiwalay na kami kung sinalin sa Filipino mga sinabi ko. Iba din ang pagkatao ko pag Ingles ang ginagamit. Ang lumanay ko daw magsalita, mahinhin, mabait, ganyan. Pero sa totoo lang, puro kalokohan lumalabas sa bibig ko pag Filipino ginagamit ko. Natawag na nga kong bully dahil sa mga pinagsasabi ko. Hindi ko mapigil eh. Filipino talaga ako eh. 

Sorry, Sususlat Pa Rin Ako in English

Sa kabila ng lahat ng sinabi ko patuloy akong magsusulat sa Ingles. Bakit? Una, pag nag-Filipino ako bababa ang stat ng blog ko. Hindi palabasa ang mga Filipino, nakakalungkot man sabihin. Kung hindi tungkol sa showbiz ang blog mo, wag ng umasa na may magbabasa. Tapos ang mga nangungunang mambabasa ng blog ko hindi mga Pilipino. Ika-apat lang o ikalima lang ang Pilipinas sa stat ko. Dahil dito, mas marami akong maaabot kapag Ingles ang ginamit ko. 

Ang pangalawang dahilan ko ay napakalalim- Ingles ang gusto kong gamitin eh. Hindi ko maipaliwanag pero mas nakakaramdam ako ng kalayaan pag nagsusulat ako sa Ingles. Nailalayo ko ang sarili kong pagkatao pag Ingles ang ginagamit ko. Mas malaya akong magkamali o maging boring o maging preachy o maging madamdamin. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganun pero ganun. Hahaba pa lalo to pag inisip ko kung bakit. 

Basta alam ko kahit Ingles ang pagsulat ko, pusong pinoy pa rin ako. (Naks!)


For the English version of this piece: Why I Use English?

Where's Christianity in Japan?

"I don't know anything about religion but I will always remember that God is with me," Akihiro shared with my group. He's replying to my question what message would he like to remember after the youth camp.

Aikihiro is one of the 30 teenagers who attended Hamamatsu Saviour King's annual youth camp. He was assigned to be on my team- the Super Mario Team. (Why my team's name is like that is another story.) In this 3-day camp, I've always seen Akihiro actively participating in the games and happily singing worship songs to a God he didn't know until the camp.

Christianity is not Japanese

For all Japan's religious festivals and traditions, most Japanese are not actively religious. There are no Sunday masses to attend, no prayers to utter on meal time and no holy book to read. They can't even distinguish whether they're Buddhist or Shinto. They go a Buddhist temple when they want and go to a Shinto shrine as they desire. Crossing over from Shinto to Buddhist and vice-versa is no big deal. Japanese culture is rooted in these two religions. Unlike Christianity.

"Christianity is not Japanese," an old Japanese once told me. I believe this opinion is somewhat reflective why there are barely 2 percent Japanese Christians. Christianity is the foreigners' religion; the Japanese have their own. It's like saying wrestling is the foreigners' sport; the Japanese have sumo. The foreigners' have tea time; the Japanese will have the eleborate (and knee jerking) tea ceremony. The foreigners' have this and that; the Japanese have their own this and that. All I'm saying is this: the Japanese are most nationalistic people I've met when it comes to their culture and traditions When something does not seem like Japanese, they're not very open about it. And this applies to Christianity.

Japan Does Not Need God

I heard once that Japan is like a dead man's land for Christian missionaries. It's not because they will be killed or will be persecuted here. It's because it's so difficult to make people see their need for God. Unlike in other areas where Christianity flourished, Japan is a comfortable and safe place. People don't need a god to make things right for them. It's their government's job. People don't need a god to hold on to when times get tough. Their lives are okay.

However, if there's one thing that Christians can do is to show God's love by being genuinely friendly and sociable. The Japanese are, perhaps, the most reserved people. They won't show affection until hell freezes over. Because of this, a lot of Japanese hunger for warmth. They may not know it until they experience it. I know a couple of Japanese ladies who want to marry foreigners because they believe that foreigners are loving and affectionate people unlike Japanese men. Even studies show that the Japanese are least sexually satisfied people. I think it's not just because of sex but of the over all standoffish culture they have here. Christians in Japan may not be able to preach how God provides our needs, how God saves us from troubles but we can sure preach (and show) how God cares and longs to be in a relationship with His people.

God's Not Dead... Not in Japan

Before the camp, I've been praying to God to give me the wisdom in handling my team. I only know how to cheer and push people to do things, how to make sure everybody feels included and how to be loud for team energy. Even though I'm a Christian for a long time, I still don't have the confidence to share the Word to non-Christians. I'm not comfortable in discussing other people's beliefs. So I just prayed that somehow God will speak to the youth in my team without me saying anything. After all, he's God so he can do it.

I believe that God did work in ways I couldn't even imagine. Weeks after the camp was over, I can still remember the lessons that the campers shared on the last day. One shared how he learned that God wants us to live for others because it's best way to live. Another said that people who are quietly doing things excellently are also brave people. A young girl reflected that God has always been there in her life. And then Akihiro ended the discussion with his own "... I will always remember God is with me." Their statements may not seem mind-blowing but considering the kind of culture these youth are coming from, their statements on God are big things.

I'm amazed that God did not only gave me wisdom. He also gave wisdom to these young people. He did not only use me to bless them but he also used them to bless me. God even used these young people to remind me He's with me even in Japan.

How to Climb Mt. Fuji with Mr. Typhoon

I climbed Mt. Fuji while a raging typhoon passes. I wish I could say "How cool is that?" but I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone. Unless you have a death wish or something, scaling that big rocky mountain in a typhoon is not safe. The experience was horrible and insane. I'm just grateful to survived it without any injuries. The people I climbed with went home safely with only tender muscles and freezing hands to deal with. Miracles do happen!

So for those climbing Mt. Fuji,  more than anything, WAIT for the RIGHT WEATHER CONDITIONS. Before climbing, you must certainly put on the right climbing gear, spend some days for cardio training and gather reliable people to climb with. But all these will be useless if the weather is against you. I had the right gear from head to foot but they're not enough to block the winds. I regularly jog and work out but I almost died of hypothermia. (I had to stop a couple of times and put my hands inside my pants cause they're already swollen and purple.) There was even an instance where my left hand froze while holding my walking stick. I had to ask my friend to help me unclench my hands around the stick.  I had great cheerful people with me but the weather dampened (and soaked) their spirits. We didn't even have a picture together on the summit.

The worst part of this ordeal is this: We climbed for almost 8 hours against the wind, rain and common sense. But we didn't see the breathtaking sunrise Fuji is famous for- the very reason we're climbing. The summit took our breath away in a different terrible way. How frustrating it is to reach the top without even a consolation of a view! It's like walking to a restaurant tired and hungry you could almost taste the food in your mouth only to be told it's closed for the day.

It was almost 4 am when two of my friends and I arrived at Mt. Fuji's peak. If the weather was fine, we would be probably screaming for joy. But the winds became stronger, the rain became harder and the cold became colder. Upon reaching the top, all we wanted to do was to go down again and just go home. Instead of immediately going down, we gave Mother Nature a chance to change her mind on the weather. We waited for 3 hours on Mt. Fuji's peak hoping for a glimpse of the sun and a touch of some warmth. Seeing that weather's not going to improve anytime soon, we decided to risk descending the mountain with zero visibility. All I can see were rocks- sharp, jagged, big and small all look threatening to me. I went down shivering and praying "Lord, I don't want to lose my hands from this cold. I still have to blog about this whole thing." It was almost 11 am when I reached the 5th Station where the climbers are headquartered. Most of my friends have gone and only one was with me to go home with.

On the train back home, I talked with a group of Indonesian men who also climbed Mt. Fuji the same night we did. No one in their group reached the summit because of the harsh weather. When I heard this, a tinge of pride rose in me. I'm so skinny and weak compared to those men but I reached the top despite of the terrible weather. Maybe my resolve to reach the summit was stronger than the winds. I would be more frustrated had I not reach the top. I can't help the sense of accomplishment I'm feeling until now. I may not have seen the spectacular sunrise but I finished the course. I guess sometimes in life, our efforts won't be rewarded with trophies and medals but only with the finish line. And I think that's okay as long as I'm in one piece. It only means I can try again next year... or maybe not.


Check these links on how to really climb Mt. Fuji. I personally used them as my reference in preparation for the climb.

Climbing Mt. Fuji

What to Bring and Wear on the Mt. Fuji Climb

Fujiyoshida City 

Mt. Fuji Explorer

Mt. Fuji Climbing

PS: I'll probably add my own tips once my fingers feel better.  :)

Tanabata and Long Distance Relationships

"And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."- Khalil Gibran 

Long Distance Relationship is not a modern concept. There's an old Japanese myth of lovers who only meet once a year.