The Golden Week and Hamamatsu Festival

The best thing about May in Japan is the Golden Week. It's a week of consecutive holidays (April 29, May 3,5 and 6) which means no work. For the hardworking Japanese, this week is indeed golden.

In Hamamatsu, this is also the time of the Kite Festival and the local Festival. Hamamatsu Matsuri is a 3-day long event filled with revelry of the entire city. Morning festivities are concentrated in Nakatajima Sand Dunes where gigantic kites battle for victory. Late afternoon to late night celebrations shift to the city center and various chos or towns. The whole 3 days is just filled with happy chaos.

Hamamatsu Kite Festival
photo credit: http://www.inhamamatsu.com/recommend/cat2/5/hamamatsu-festival.php

(For my last year's experience of the festival, click here)

So, if you're around the area and no definite plans yet, drop by and join the party at Hamamatsu Festival!


(For more information of the Hamamatsu Festival, click here)

Tips When Attending a Tea Ceremony

Tea ceremony is, in my opinion, one of the most cultural things you can do in Japan. As far as I know, only Japan has this kind of ceremony. It wasn't not in my bucket list of things to do in Japan though. Why? First, I'm not a fan of tea. I just got used to it since it's daily served in my school. Second, I heard some negative feedback about it. And yes, I'm easy to be influenced sometimes. Last, I just didn't get the chance until last Sunday.

While most people are tucked in their houses because of the rainy weather, a couple of my friends and I are in a tea room sipping fine tea, nibbling on Japanese sweets and sitting on our heels. A Japanese lady volunteered to host a free tea ceremony for us. I haven't even met her until that day. Sweet, sweet lady!

Chado is the Japanese term for tea ceremony. It means the Way of the Tea. I'll just describe briefly what happens in the tea ceremony. For a more detailed description, I suggest the entry at Wikipedia. It's more informative than what I can write. 

So here's  how it usually goes.

Tea Ceremony Room
credit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_tea_ceremony

1. Guests enter the tea ceremony room on their knees. 

2. Guests walk in front of a scroll and look at it. Then look down at the vase and a rock-like thing below the scroll. 

3. Guests proceed to look at a tea "equipment" - the tea container, kettle and water jar. 

4. Guests sit around the room in a circular fashion. 

5. The hosts enters the room, say something and the first guest say something again. (I can't figure out what they're saying.)

6. The hosts offer the first round of Japanese sweets. 

7. The hosts make the tea and the guests get their tea one by one. 

8. Guests say a bunch of Japanese words to the person on their right, on their left and to the host before drinking their tea. 

9. When consumed, guests have to look at the bowl and admire the design on it. 

10. Return the bowl. 

11. Repeat from 6-10. 

Gosh! I didn't realize there's so many steps. During the whole time, I try to be focused on what the person before me was doing and saying. No wonder it's called a ceremony because it's very "ceremonial." 

(More on Japanese Tea Ceremony, here)

Now for the tips: 

1. Allot 3-4 hours of your day if you're planning to attend a tea ceremony.  

I didn't realize that this tea thing will be that long. When I agreed to come, I just thought that it's like hanging out in Starbucks drinking coffee and I can leave when I feel like it. This is not the case. The guests don't drink the tea simultaneously. They drink it one by one. There were 7 of us last Sunday. Imagine if there's more. 

2. Prepare to sit on our heels for a long time. 

I don't know how and why the Japanese sit on their heels, but they do. We, foreigners, just have to respect that and go with it the whole 3-4 hours of tea ceremony. It's not easy and I don't know how to prepare yourself for this. Just be mentally prepared, I guess. My legs were thankfully still okay after this ordeal. 

Tea Ceremony
credit: http://www.insidejapantours.com/fully-tailored-japan-holidays/i-ac04/tea-ceremony/

3. If it's your first time, don't be the first guests in line. 

There were seven of us and I was the 3rd in line. I wish was 4th or 5th or even last so I would have had more time to observe the procedure. Also, there were Japanese phrases that we have to say. I only remembered "Osakini." The other phrases, I don't know how I was able to utter them. 

4. Observe, observe and try to appreciate. 

As I've mentioned, the procedure in the tea ceremony is very specific. Even how you hold the bowl and place your bowl should be properly done. So your observation skills will be tested. 

As for the try to appreciate part, it was something I had to keep in mind. The main thought in my mind was this "What's the big deal?" In my gaijin mind, the tea ceremony is just actually a way to hang out with other people. The very specific, and even rigid,  procedure seemed to rob off the joy of being with others. But this is just my opinion. 

More than the tea ceremony and all it's drama, what I appreciated is our host's hospitality and generosity. Never mind the sore legs, I got to experience a very cultural thing, filled myself with tasty food and drink and met some nice people. I just don't think I'll do a tea ceremony again.

O-Hanami, How Lovely and Filling!

One of the "must-do" things before you leave in Japan is go hanami. At least, this is what my Japanese friend told me. She said my Japan experience is not complete if I haven't gone hanami even just once. Doesn't matter whatever cultural things I've done here. I just got to do hanami to have a total Japan experience.

People doing Hanami at Ueno Park

So what is hanami? Hanami literally means flower (hana) watching (mi). In reality, it means having a picnic, a feast, a drinking party, under the cherry blossoms in spring. Cherry blossoms or sakura only blooms for a week or two. They have a short and sweet life. Because of this, the Japanese celebrate their blooming season. Tourism offices all over Japan actually monitor when the flowers will bloom. Somebody told me that cherry blossom season is the peak season of tourism in Japan. It's not surprising cause the cherry blossoms are utterly beautiful.

my friend under a very pink sakura tree

When you decide to go hanami, it's best to bring...

1. Food and drinks
Eating is the main activity in hanami. Hanami would be plain sightseeing if you don't have food.

2. Picnic blanket
Unless you want to sit on the ground. Usually, hanami grounds are not grassy so don't expect you'll be comfortable without picnic blankets.

food + friends = perfect hanami 

3. Camera
The cherry blossoms are just so lovely. Capture their loveliness with your camera.

Isn't it lovely?

4. Sense of fun!
Forget about work for awhile and just admire the beauty around you. Have fun with the company you're with. Hanami only happens once a year.


There are designated places for Hanami all over Japan. In Hamamatsu, the Castle Park is the most convenient place to have hanami. Get out and see the sakura! Hanami season ends on the 6th (in Hamamatsu).


More on Hanami:

Hanami

Hanami: Cherry Blossoms and Revelry in Japan

Hanami: The Cherry Blossoms Festival Welcomes Spring

Hanami: Unique Japanese Tradition

Sakura and Hanami

How to Use the Daruma Doll

Most temples in Japan have this thing called DARUMA. (see picture below)

The Daruma doll
credit: http://www.dreamstime.com

When I first saw it, I seriously thought it was a toy doll. And I thought too how adult-looking this doll is. I wonder what kid would want it for a toy. It's not cute nor pleasant. 

Turns out, Daruma is not a kid's toy. It's actually a figurine of a Buddhist monk named Bodhidharma. He's the founder of Zen Buddhism. Bodhidhrama spent his life sitting down and meditating to achieve Zen. Because he just sat most of his life, his legs and arms weakened. Thus, daruma dolls look like babies wrapped in swads of clothes. 

The Japanese use the daruma dolls to make wishes. Politicians would buy big daruma dolls when they're running for office to win. Parents pray to this doll for they kids' future and education. Students use this for good luck before taking exams. The daruma doll is like a lucky charm. I haven't used a daruma doll yet. I'm actually scared of it's face. It looks fierce and not at all encouraging. (I'm not a Buddhist and not a Japanese so I guess, it doesn't matter.)

Daruma doll overload!
credit: http://www.taleofgenji.org/katsuoji.html

There's a special way in using this doll. Here's how: 

1. Pray to the doll or make a wish then rub one of its eyes until it fades. 

2. When you're wish is granted, thank the doll by rubbing the other eye. 

A "Blinded' daruma doll

In short, you'll be taking off the eyes of the daruma doll. Hence, when you see a blind daruma doll, it means that someone's wish was granted. 

Interesting Numerical Facts in Japan

I've learned something today. Numbers. (Yeah, it's in the title.)

I have an old Japanese student who makes me feel I'm in a Japanese culture course every time we have a class. He's just so eager to teach me the sacred truths about Japan. Last night, he introduced me to the wonderful world of Japanese numbers.

Fact 1: Japanese has two ways of counting numbers- one from China and the native Japanese.

Japanese Numbers
credit: http://blogeekensias.wordpress.com/2011/03/22/480/

When I was still sane to study Japanese, I asked the teacher why the Japanese use different 'counters.' Counters are words you use to count. The one I know is ichi, ni, san, shi/yon, go, roku, nana, hachi, kyu, ju. That's 1 to 10 for you in Japanese. Then they also have hitotsu, futatso, mittsu, yottsu, itsutsu, muttsu, nanatsu, yattsu, kokonotsu, to. That's 1 to 10 again for you. There're more but I forgot them. The teacher said something but my mind was already blank at that time. Maybe she was explaining that there was a Japanese version and there was a Sino-Japanese (the one from China) set. Anyhow, the first set was the Chinese and the second was, of course, the Japanese. At least now, it makes sense to me why so many words to use for counting. It just makes sense but I still don't know how to use them properly. Truly a threat to sanity, this Japanese. 

(For more information on how to count in Japanese, see How to Count Anything in Japanese)

Fact 2: Odd numbers are lucky.

Chinese thought that odd numbers are lucky. Probably this is the origin of the terms lucky 7 or lucky 9. Here's a better explanation from Travel China Guide.com

"For odd numbers, no. 3 indicates multiples. In Buddhist culture, it represents Buddha, Dharma and Bonze, so people toll the bell three times to worship Buddha and pray for the removal of calamities with 3 sticks of incense. Whilst no.7 implies holiness and mystery in Buddhism, it is lucky as well. So, there are seven-storied Stupas everywhere. No. 9 in Chinese culture means longevity and eternality. Thus, there were 9,999 rooms within the Forbidden City in Beijing. It is also a tradition between lovers to send 99, or 999 roses, which carry the best wishes for 'everlasting love'."

Shichi-go-san or 7-5-3 celebration
credit: http://www.sakura-hostel.co.jp/blog/

For some reason the Japanese adapted this belief which is somehow related to Fact 3.  

Fact 3: Most Japanese celebrations are based on Fact 2.

Girls' Day or Dolls' Day in Japan
credit: http://swamiindology.blogspot.jp/

New Year is of course on 1/1. Dolls' Day or Girls' Day is on 3/3. Boys' Day is on 5/5. Tanabata  is 7/7. There's no celebration on 9/9 because for some reason 9 is unlucky in Japan. Anyway,  I didn't realize this pattern until my student told me. Super observations skills, my student has. As I've mentioned this is based on the belief that odd numbers are lucky. Hence, 2 odd numbers are considered extra lucky.

(More on numbers on Lucky and Unlucky Number in Japan).

These facts may not really be super useful. I mean, I wouldn't really ask my students "What counting system do you like? Japanese or Chinese?" Nonetheless, I just find them interesting. You gotta learn something new everyday!

The Sound of Summer: Bell Healing Concert in Japan

I've gone to one of the most unusual concerts in Japan- a bell healing concert in Shinjohara. I got intrigued when a friend invited me so I went without having a slightest idea how it would be. 

The concert was held in a temple located in a ruralish area. The temple was a lovely surprise with its decors dusted in gold dust. It was a very informal and intimate affair. The stage for performance was small and the audience area were just pillows and small chairs. It felt like a small community gathering. 

interior decor of a temple in Shinjohara

engravings in gold 

 At 7 pm, the concert started. There were only two artists- the bell player and the singer. The opening act was a melody similar to what you nay hear in a spa. It was very soothing and relaxing but it was recorded. The bell player played along with the flute while singer hummed some notes. And the bells? After playing with the flute, the bell person did some seemingly random bell sounds by hitting the bells in front of him.

stage for performance

This type of performance continued all throughout the concert. A recorded melody was played, the singer hummed and the bell player played the flute then hit the bells on some random part of the song. He seemed earnest in what he does although I didn't really appreciate it. When he hit the bells, it brought discord rather than harmony to the song to my ears.

bells, bells, bells

Do Re Mi of bells

The highlights of the concert was when they blended traditional music with pop rhythm just before the break. It sounded more melodious and the bells seem to be more in tune. Also, the rendition of Amazing Grace through the bells was movingly solemn. They also played a seemingly sad and hopeful melody for the Tohoku Earthquake victims. Just before the concert ended, the singer sang a song with one word - ARIGATOU (Thank You) which she asked the audience to sing with her. It was touching and it felt very sincere. 

In between songs, the bell player mentioned how each bell has a different sound depending on how it was serated. I also learned that before airconditioning was invented, the Japanese hanged bells in the summer to give a refreshing feel. The sound of bells is the sound of summer. He then further explained how he started his bell collections and from what places he got his bells. I have to thank my friend for translating all these information for me. 

Aside from the interesting tidbits of information, I also appreciated the singer's voice. She did not sing any lyrics but I fell in a trance just hearing her humming. Her voice was smooth, clear and sleep-inducing. I saw a lot of people falling asleep. I was half asleep myself during the concert. 

They mention that they play in a temple in Kyoto and that they have various concerts in Japan. I regretted not getting more information about them. (I was just rushing to go home to catch the train.) I tried looking for them on Google but I can't seem to find one. If you ever heard of a bell healing concert, I recommend to give it a try. It can be a relaxing and moving experience. 

Bright Moshi: Firefly Festival

In the past if somebody invites me to watch fireflies, I would probably look at that person stupidly. Who would waste time to watch fireflies? They are beautiful when you chance upon them but I won't spend time travelling for almost an hour to some grassy place just to see fireflies. But that was in the past and this is what I actually did last Saturday- riding a bus for almost an hour to a grassy place just to watch fireflies as if I've never seen one.

photo credit: http://www.gtia.jp/kokusai/english/traveling/event_200906.php

The sight of fireflies was lovely but not impressive. I was a bit disappointed because I was expecting a spectacular display of fireflies. It doesn't mean that I didn't appreciate the fireflies, I was just anticipating for more. 

However, what I appreciated more is how the Japanese people took time to watch these shining creatures. There were a lot of people during the firefly watching. Families roamed around taking pictures, bent old people sitting while watching the fireflies and young couples holding hands savored the blinking sights. There was a communal feel to it like a group of people coming together to celebrate creation. Even if it is as small as fireflies. 

In Hamamatsu, you can watch fireflies until the 20th of June at the Flower Park. It's from 6:00 to 9:00 pm.　Entrance fee is 500 Yen. In other areas, check your prefectural tourism websites, Most prefectures also have firefly viewing for this month. 

Japanese Erotic Art: Shunga!

India has the Kama Sutra, the US has the Playboy (an odd analogy, I think) and Japan has shunga! I just learned about shunga today while browsing Japan Today. It's a traditional Japanese art on woodblock that depicts sex.

Here's how Wikipedia explained shunga:

Shunga (春画^?) is a Japanese term for erotic art. Most shunga are a type of ukiyo-e, usually executed in woodblock print format. While rare, there are extant erotic painted handscrolls which predate the Ukiyo-e movement.^[1] Translated literally, the Japanese word shunga means picture of spring; "spring" is a common euphemism for sex.

Following the aesthetics of everyday life, Edo period shunga varied widely in its depictions of sexuality. As a subset of ukiyo-e it was enjoyed by all social groups in the Edo period, despite being out of favour with the shogunate. Almost all ukiyo-e artists made shunga at some point in their careers, and it did not detract from their prestige as artists.^[1] Classifying shunga as a kind of medieval pornography can be misleading in this respect.^[2

I haven't seen a shunga art yet in person. I got curious so I look for images related to shunga. Here are some of the "milder"ones which means the genitalia is not shown. The others that I saw may not be appropriate for this blog. ^_^

photo credit: http://www.morra-japaneseart.com/img/prints/detail/E%2035.htm

photo credit: http://www.1st-art-gallery.com/Kitagawa-Utamaro/Two-Shunga-From-'ehon-Komachi-Biki'.html

photo credit: http://www.morra-japaneseart.com/img/prints/detail/E%2070.htm

I find it noteworthy how the people in the shunga prints are still clothed in Japanese traditional clothes. Then reading  further on Wikipedia's article, there was actually an explanation why the people are fully-clothed.

It was stated there that Japanese don't find nudity erotic in those times since communal bathing is common. It was also a way to emphasize the genitalia- which is the only part that is fully shown. It was further implied that shunga artists clothed people in their works to distinguish them from foreign erotic art. By this I presume that Japanese views foreign erotic art shows nude bodies.

(More on Japanese Art, here) 

Shunga, like some images in Kama Sutra, also show couples in impossible sexual positions which can only happen in art. I haven't learned yet why they are shown that way. (Maybe I'll add it when I have researched more on it.)

Personally, I found the existence of shunga revealing. Now I'm not surprised why henti versions of animes and mangas are surprised. Although shunga is not considered porn, as stated in Wiikipedia, I guess it shows how Japan's fascination with sex evolved culturally and historically. (But this is just my opinion, I would like to hear more sound research on this.)

And just in case you're curious, there's a Shunga Exhibition at Vermeer Center Ginza until the end of this month.

Links for more of Shunga Art:

http://www.nipponlugano.ch/en/shunga-multimedia/
http://www.morra-japaneseart.com/gallery/prints/05.htm

Kawaii Fashion: Women in Girls' Clothing

Japan has a romance with anything cute. And it's okay, really. Cute things are nice to look at but the Japanese just don't know when to stop being cute. One of this please-stop-being-cute instance is when grown-up women dressed so cutely in ruffles, pastel colors, ribbons and laces. This is called "kawaii fashion." Kawaii means cute in Japan.

(For more of Japanese Culture, click here)

Kawaii fashion is so rampant in Japan. Women in their 20's and 30's clothed with ribbons, laces with matching ruffled parasols acting like a cute little girl are a common sight here. Even for almost a year of being here, I still want to choke everytime I see women in kawaii fashion. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate kawaii fashion as long as it it's for girls- younger girls.

photo credit: http://kerli.buzznet.com/photos/kawaiifashion/?id=68443099

I can't understand why would grown-up women wanted to look ridiculous in clothes so out of their age. What's more, the kawaii fashionistas are not contented with keeping their style in Japan. They are planning to make a kawaii fashion world invasion.

Here's an article from Japan Today:

Japanese Lolitas plan world domination

By Cara Clegg

ARTS & CULTURE MAY. 17, 2013 - 07:05AM JST ( 57 )

TOKYO —

Disconcerting news from the world of Japanese fashion: adherents to the cutesy subculture of Lolita fashion are organizing themselves into an official group. Their target: the whole world.

The Japan Lolita Association was formed in February to spread Japan’s special brand of “kawaii fashion” to the world. Aoki Misako, a well-known Lolita model who in 2009 was appointed “Kawaii Ambassador” by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs (an absolutely real, and possibly even serious, position), will serve as chairperson, and the society’s office will be established at Fukuoka’s Omura Beauty College.

The association’s main activities will be to report lolita news, recruit and appoint Kawaii Ambassadors to support the global lolita network, host events such as tea parties and get-togethers for association members, and encourage and nominate lolita fashion-related schools and educational institutions. It all sounds perfectly innocent, but who knows what’s really going on behind those frilly petticoats and lacy parasols.

Becoming a member gets you perks such as subscription to their email newsletter and notifications of tea-parties and events. You can sign up here at their homepage. If you sign up with your smartphone, you even get a super-extra-kawaii membership image. 

The association is also seeking information on Lolita-related events, so event promoters who want their event shared with Lolita fans should submit their information to the ‘Events & Tea parties’ page.

(More about Japanese Society, here. )

I seriously don't know whether I'll laugh or cry when I read this. However, it's their life. They're happy with being cute. I just have to look away and stop myself from howling when I see them. 

A Chikan or Not a Chikan: Molesting with Consent?

So there's this man who "molested" a woman on a train because they agreed to do it. This is one of the weirdest news I've read so I'm sharing... 

Reference: http://www.japantoday.com/category/crime/view/man-arrested-for-molesting-woman-after-being-invited-to-do-so-online

Man arrested for molesting woman after being invited to do so online

CRIME MAY. 13, 2013 - 06:55AM JST ( 44 )

TOKYO —

Wakayama police have arrested 26-year-old Masaya Ogawa for the indecent assault of a 23-year-old woman aboard a commuter train. Adding a bizarre twist to the story, Ogawa claims that she was asking for it.

He doesn’t mean that in the lame wearing-a-mini-skirt-is-asking-for-it way that other sex offenders use. Ogawa says that this was a prearranged session of “molester-play” set up online between him and the woman.

The incident occurred on April 30 at around 7 p.m. on a train running from Kokawa Station to Wakayama Station. Ogawa was sitting next to the woman who was in the window seat when his hand began to creep toward her skirt. Eventually his hand began squeezing her stomach and thigh without restraint.

Photo Credit: http://iwasben.com/category/japan/

At this point, a second, unidentified man who was standing near the door began groping the woman from behind grabbing her breasts. The woman had said “please stop” and the standing man disembarked at the next stop. However, Ogawa continued to grab at the woman’s body. The entire train ride lasted for about 20 to 30 minutes with the groping ongoing throughout. When the train came to its final stop at Wakayama Station, the pair got up to leave. However, as they got off the train, the woman suddenly grabbed the man by the arm and took him to the station workers. They then delivered Ogawa to police.

After his arrest on May 8, Ogawa made a statement saying, “I was looking on a website for people who want to molest to meet people who want to be molested. I got the time and train car information from a woman on that website.” The woman, however, flatly denies ever using that website. Police investigated the “molester-play” website where Ogawa claimed to have met the woman and found postings such as “is there someone to molest on the Wakayama Line?” along with train times and seat locations. They were also able to find the second man who got off the train partway through the site.

The investigation is still ongoing. The woman had said that she always sat in the same seat during her commute, so police are looking into the possibility that Ogawa was catfished, meaning that someone pretending to be the woman online set him up to “molester-play” her.

The world seems to be getting stranger by the minute. 

Happiness in Hamamatsu; The Hamamatsu Festival

The past three days have been crazily busy. It was the Golden Week last week- a week-long holiday in Japan. In Hamamatsu, it was not just a simple holiday. From Friday to Sunday, Hamamatsu has been cloaked with the spirit of revelry because of the Hamamatsu Festival.

The Hamamatsu Festival is a 3-day celebration of... Hamamatsu! In the morning, the festivities were at Nakatajima Sand Dunes. Hundreds of kites battled on the park grounds of Nakatajima from 10 am to 3 pm. While watching the kites, people also tasted the various food, roamed around the grounds and just simply took part of the constant shouting. 

kids marching with their big kite 

side show at Zaza City 

"experiencing" the lamp of these two festival participants

cheering on for the babies! Risho! Risho!

one of the floats during the festival nights

At 3 pm, the people moved their celebration to the station. For several hours, they paraded the streets around Hamamatsu Station with their floats and lamps on hand. 

(More on Hamamatsu here)

For three days, I kept on hearing the same thumping festival sound from morning to night. It wasn't annoying though cause I can also hear how happy the people were. For these usually quiet Japanese, it was a great change to see them so loose and carefree, even just for three days. Their enthusiasm and energy were infectious that one couldn't  help but also rejoice with them. 

(More Celebrations in Japan, here.)

A Disney Parade capped off the three day celebration.(Sadly with so many people, I wasn't able to take pictures of Mickey Mouse and the Disney gang.) Being in the midst of these people was so much fun. It made me feel I belong and that I can celebrate with them even if I am a foreigner. Looking forward to more festivals!

Naki Sumo: Baby Crying Contest in Japan

I just like to share this interesting contest in Japan.


Reference: http://www.express.co.uk/news/weird/395636/Strange-crying-baby-contest-held-in-Japan

Strange crying baby contest held in Japan

IT is a sound that fills most parents with dread, but at the annual Naki Sumo – crying baby contest – in Japan, wailing and screeching is encourged.

The bizarre event, held for over 400 years, is based on the concept that a long cry is good for the health of babies.

Eager mothers bring the children to the event where Sumo wrestlers and high priests coax babies into a state of distress.

No physical pain is inflicted on the babies; the sumo wrestlers instead growl and scowl in order to get a wail.

A crying baby is carried by Sumo wrestler

The baby to cry loudest and longest wins the contest

Sumo wrestlers coax babies to cry at the annual Naki Sumo (crying baby contest) in Japan

If both babies cry, whichever wails loudest wins.

If neither of the babies cry – or even worse, laugh – the wrestlers don creepy-looking masks to encourage tears.

The event, which marks the high point of spring, is held each year at the Sensoji Temple in Tokyo.

If the babies do not initially cry the sumo wrestlers don masks

The competition is intended to generate good health for the babies

Participating Japanese parents believe the Sumo-induced cries are beneficial.

As the babies are held high, so that their cries are closer to heaven and their mothers pray for their good health.

The 400-year old ritual is also believed to ward off evil spirits.

The annual Naki Sumo event is believed to ward off evil spirits

Aren't these babies so cute even when they cry? :)

Wanted: Girlfriend for a Japanese Man

One of my male students asked me to help him find a girlfriend. He's 30, not bad looking, well-built, financially stable and is open-minded. Race and nationality is not an issue as long as she's well-mannered and  physically pleasant-looking. He said his standards in a woman are not really high. He's a reasonable guy so it was puzzling for me why he would need my help to find a girlfriend.

photo credit: http://www.123rf.com/photo_6193851_japanese-couple.html

My student's situation, according to him, is not uncommon in Japanese society. A lot of Japanese men nowadays have a hard time finding a girlfriend. In our discussion, we brainstormed why he and other Japanese men are "girlfriendlless." It was interesting how he and I- as a woman, saw things differently.

He said: He has no opportunity to meet women. 
I said:  He does not know how to grab or make an opportunity to meet women. 
My student works from Monday to Friday as a freelance consultant, teacher and agent. Unlike other men, he doesn't have a permanent workplace where he can establish relationships with female coworkers. However, he has weekends when he can go out and meet women. Problem is he choose to stay at home on weekends tinkering with stuff and playing video games. He told me that a lot of his friends also set him up on dates but he doesn't like the pressure that goes with it. He is a member of a community group but it is an all-male club. Obviously his lifestyle does not seem to welcome opportunities to meet women.

(More on Japanese culture, here.)

He said: He has no time to meet and date women. 
I said: He just does not know how to make time for women.
With his various jobs, my student seems to be busy man with no time for courtship. He said that dating women will take his precious time away from his job. I told him that he does not have to spend a whole day to date a woman. Lunch or dinner on workdays is acceptable. A three-hour date is not impossible on a Saturday or Sunday. Dating doesn't have to be an everyday thing. A short email, phone call or text message are sweet gestures that can warm him to a woman. I think Japanese men like him have big elaborate ideas on dating that can be demanding on time and money. Instead of making dating simpler, he just choose to not do it altogether.

He said: He does not want to date women who will not end up as his girlfriend or wife.
I said: He should consider dating as a trial period.
As I have said I think Japanese men have elaborate ideas in dating including its gravity. When a Japanese man dates a Japanese woman, it is expected that they will be a couple. In effect, Japanese men are pressured to date only women who they seriously like. The problem with this is that men and women in Japan have limited interactions that it is hard to develop a "serious likeness" to someone. I told him to change his mindset on dating. A first date should be like a trial to see if you like the other person. If the first date works, then go out for another one. If not, say goodbye and thank you.

He said: His looks are not popular to Japanese women. 
I said: His looks is not the problem, it's the type of women he pursues. 
Finally I understood why Japanese men look feminine. My student said that Japanese women swoon to men with feminine and soft looks. I personally find these feminine-looking Japanese men repulsive. They look so vain and weak and I wouldn't want my boyfriend to look prettier than me. On the other hand, my student looks manly with cropped hair uncommon in Japanese men. He likes the way he looks. I told him that most women would find him attractive or acceptable at the very least and that he shouldn't change his looks. He should go out instead and find women who would appreciate his form. I reasoned out that more than half of the female world population appreciates men with manly looks. The Japanese women who prefers soft-looking men does not even comprise a quarter of it. In effect, he has a high chance of getting a girlfriend without resorting to female-looking male.

(For more on Japanese society, click here.) 

He said: He's role in his family makes him unappealing to women. 
I said: Again, his role is not the problem but the women he pursues. 
Being a firstborn son in Japan entails social responsibilities. My student said that most Japanese women do not like to marry firstborn son because of the social pressure that comes with it. I told him that not all women think that way. He just have to find the woman who would be up to the challenge. Also, if a woman likes him enough, his role as the eldest son is a small matter, I think.

In my opinion, the social pressure attached to dating and men hinders Japanese men (and women) to explore possible relationships. There seems to be an ever-present fear of not meeting up to social expectations that they end up not doing things instead. As a result, here's my Japanese student asking me to do half of the work so he can have a girlfriend.

PS: If you're interested to meet him, PM me. :) This is serious.

Chocolate Overload: White Day in Japan

Some of my male students are saying "Faye Sensei, do you like choco?" for several days now. At first, I didn't know why they are asking for chocolates. One of the teachers who heard the students explained to me that they are asking if I like chocolates because it's going to be White Day in a few days time- tomorrow as of this writing in fact.

cute bear-shaped chocolate 

I had heard of White Day several years ago when I started teaching Korean students. White Day is celebrated on March 14th, a month just after Valentines Day. It is the time when men and boys gave gifts to women and girls. White Day is only celebrated in Japan, Korea, Taiwan and maybe China.

kawai animal chocolates

Based on my internet research, this White Day celebration in Japan was started by a marshmallow maker in Fukuoka. He urged the men to return the favor when girls gave them chocolates and other sweet treats on Valentines. Eventually other confectioners followed suit. Initially they only gave white chocolates. Hence, White Day. Presently, dark chocolates and other things are given. 

(More on Japanese Celebrations, here)

fruit chocolates

Interestingly there are three types of chocolates given on White Day. First is the giri-choco. These are chocolates given to girls who gave something to a man last Valentines Day. These chocolates are obligatory with no romantic inclinations. The second one is the honmei-choco. These are special chocolates given to girls whom the man likes romantically. The last one is the tomo-choco which are chocolates given to friends.

(More on Japanese customs, here) 

planet chocolates

I asked a female teacher how they distinguish what category does a given chocolate fall into. She said it's a matter of guessing. Usually when the chocolates are expensive and beautifully-presented, it must be honmei-choco. Simple chocolates are either giri-choco or tomo-choco. She added that sometimes it can be confusing like if  a guy gave you a lovely giri-choco, you may assume it is honmei-choco. 

more and more chocolates

I hope to receive tomo-choco tomorrow on White Day! I love chocolates and I love it even more if they came from my students. It would mean they consider me their friend. 

Short Passion: Japanese Obsession's with Shorts

I came to Japan just before summertime when the weather was getting hot and humid. Thus, I wasn't surprised to see young and old Japanese women wearing shorts of unbelievable "shortness" in just about everywhere. I know men don't mind seeing all these women shorts with their fair and flawless legs. Then came the bone-chilling Japan winter. Puzzling me is that these women still wear shorts. With me wearing two layers of pants, I can't comprehend why these women still wear shorts. It doesn't matter even if they are shivering or even if their pores are screaming with the cold. They just have to wear shorts!

photo credit: http://sinowww.collected.info/ajax/showfeeds/sinowww/40//g

(For more on Japanese winter, click here)

Interestingly though is that I rarely- as in rarely, see women with revealing tops. Even during the summer when I wore sleeveless and low-neck tops, Japanese women wore layers of  tops. As I recall, I have never seen a Japanese woman wearing a lone sleeveless top last summer. It was only with revealing their legs that they are obsessed with and not the top portion of their bodies.

I thought that perhaps Japanese women wear shorts because they have great legs. Most women have unflabby and flawless legs. Even women with 2 or 3 kids have slim legs it's amazing how they maintain it after giving birth. I also thought that perhaps Japanese women don't wear revealing tops because they have nothing to reveal. Asians are not really gifted with enticingly-sized mammary glands.

I told my theories to a Japanese student and she just chuckled at me. I asked her why she personally like to wear shorts- even in winter. She said that aside from being fashionable, wearing shorts is the only socially acceptable way to look sexy. Revealing parts of the upper body such as too much arms, neck and cleavage is not really acceptable. She thinks it's too sexy. She explained further that both male and female have legs but male and female have different upper bodies. I think she has a good point there.

(More on Japanese society here)

As for why she still wear shorts in winter, she's also wondering why. She just thinks it's fashionable though not necessarily comfortable.   

Being "On Time " in Japan

Everything and everyone in Japan seems to be almost always on time. Trains and buses come and go on time. People arrive on time whether it's a business meeting or social call. Offices open and banks close on time. Everything is a clockwork.

photo credit: http://www.etsy.com/listing/110834872/geisha-girl-japanese-design-oriental-cd

For the past months, here are some interesting things I have learned about Japanese punctuality. 

1. To be on time means to be present 5-10 minutes earlier.

This is the first thing I have learned when I arrived in Japan. You can't simply be virtually on time. You have to be at your workplace 5 to 10 minutes BEFORE the time. A Japanese friend told me that maybe Japanese are like this so the actual work, meeting or whatever can start on time. I'm not sure if her explanation has basis or just an opinion but I think there's some truth to what she said. Personally, I feel more psychologically ready to work or to have a meeting when I am already in the place a few minutes before the actual time. These few minutes seem to give me some breathing and warming up time. 

2. Unless it's a life and death situation, there is no excuse for tardiness. 

Traffic is not an excuse for being late. Household chores and other tasks are also unacceptable. Only severe conditions in winter is valid for being late. Whatever the excuse is, if you're late-you're late. One of my superiors explained that this is how with Japanese because they think that things happen everyday. It's up to the person how he will cope up with it- including how he'll arrive at work on time. 

3. Be sincerely sorry. 

So when you're late, just say sorry. No need to make excuses or even explain lengthily. Your boss or people affected with your tardiness do not need to understand you. They do not need to know the ins and outs of your tardiness. You just have to hope that they'll sincerely forgive you. 

4. You can't get away with habitual tardiness. 

In the Philippines, employees who are chronically tardy can get warnings, written reprimands and suspension. 

Unless you're really a bad employee, your superiors can overlook your habitual tardiness. In Japan, to be habitually tardy means to be untrustworthy and irresponsible. Therefore, if you're habitually late don't expect to keep your job. This is what exactly happened to a girl in my company. She's late almost two times a week, always says sorry with the principal always telling her it was okay. Then after two months, she was fired. 

5. Be on time even in social gatherings such as house warming parties, social visits, etc. 

In some countries, being on time can mean differently when applied in social gatherings such as house parties. In Japan, punctuality is still observed even in house parties and invitational social visits. It is a sign of rudeness when you turn in late as a guest. As one of the mys students said, being late for a social event means you did not give due importance to the person who invited you. Being late is treated as a personal matter. 

Universally, people may agree that punctuality is important but a lot of countries still struggle with it. Here in Japan, you don't only agree that it is important. You have to show how important it is so you can also be treated with importance.